e-book Just One More Secret

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You chose that person specifically, out of all the other people in your life, to have a more intimate relationship with.

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It really, really sucks. And nobody comes out of that without a little bit of pain or self-doubt, even in the most amicable of breakups. Stop beating around the bush about the impermanent nature of relationships. The second time it happened felt like more of a date than an accident, so we went to get some Thai food and flirted a bit. After a few more intentional dates, we were a couple. I liked how kind and romantic he was and he liked my passion and that I made him laugh. One day, about six months into our relationship, and just a few days after Trump was elected, we had a date set up to go ice skating at Justin Herman Plaza in San Francisco.

I met him close by and, as we walked to the rink, I had to sit down. All the emotion from the election suddenly boiled to the surface and I started sobbing. I was so angry and so scared for my country, for women, and for my family and friends. And the thought of a romantic ice skating date felt so starkly, ominously frivolous. My ex was so kind to me, though.

He sat with me and rubbed my back and listened to me panic. His understanding and his lack of judgment were enough.


He was spectacular. And then my heart stopped.

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And now I was too scared to add it. Because it sounded like such a dick thing to say. My mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish while I tried to find the words to correct myself, but nothing came. He was silent for a long time. Finally, he said.

Just One More Thing (The Secret List)

You think. How the hell was I going to correct myself? Why the hell was there only one kind of love you were allowed to have for the person you were dating? Why did love have to mean forever? I think I got a little drunk. Afterward, we walked to the bus stop together and he brought it up.

He clearly had been calculating how this conversation would go. You love me. And I love you. Can you see us getting married?

Just One More Kiss () - IMDb

Having kids? White picket fence? So all the kids can run around. I think you know that.

Remember When?

He let out a great big sigh of relief and smiled a bit ironically. But I feel better.

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    Which ones really count? The key to overcoming this challenge so that knowledge sticks, he insists, is to build a mental schematic of the big picture -- a sense of how all these bits of knowledge fit together. For knowledge to stick it has to have something -- some broad story or web of ideas -- to stick too. And Gates isn't the only brilliant billionaire saying the exact same thing.

    How do you get a sense of that map, or tree, or framework, or whatever you want to call it? If you want to learn science, for instance, he suggests you read up on the history of science, which will give you a sense of how certain branches of knowledge developed, how they're connected to one another, and why people bothered to study them in the first place.

    The same is true of history. Having a big picture is the secret to remembering what you study, learning faster, and enjoying the process.